Glenda Myles Merk
Chief Grief Navigator & Soul Soother
I was living my life the way that I thought it ought to be lived; following the path laid out for me.
I had encountered Death before, but it was truly when I was caring for both of my parents when I truly met Death. My parents were both sick with cancer at the same time. First, my Dad died from lung cancer and my Mom from leukemia eight months later on Valentine’s Day. As I sat next to her bed those last weeks and moments, I would meditate, breathe, and search for forgiveness and compassion. I found it.
The years of wandering followed, searching for answers to questions that only those on the path dare ask, shining a light upon dark crevices in my being. It lit a path to my shadow work. Often in quiet bedrooms or hospital rooms with the dying, I would see glimpses into the Great Mystery, confirming something that was Knowing deep within my heart.
I would become a death doula (trained at the Institute of Traditional Medicine, Toronto, 2015), grief educator, and psychotherapist (2016). I would start a non-profit organization called the Dying Well Collective with a dear colleague. We would host hundreds and hundreds of people over the next few years in Death Cafes. We would sit vigil with the dying. We tended to families who needed extra care and support. I wanted to support others on their journeys - carrying a lantern to light the Path. I wanted them to know that they were not alone.
In the early years of my grieving, I found story (thank you Firefly Creative Writing in Toronto!). I wrote a story about Grief as the demanding sibling of Death, (part of the story is in our e-Book Grief’s Hidden Truths Revealed) and that story would spark a newfound relationship with Grief. The idea of this character (reminding me of Death in Sandman by Neil Gaiman - IYKYK) allowed me to examine the complexity of Grief and the complexities of my relationship with her.
And then I encountered Death and walked the path of Grief, befriending Grief and allowing Her to transform and reshape my being and perspective.
Glenda Myles, Grief Love Notes, 2016
It was in those small writing groups that I found the courage to write words on paper and speak them out loud. It was in those spaces, in the kindness and encouragement shown by the facilitator and participants, that I continued to write. And in so doing, found myself on the Path of healing.
Now I live in the West, I still sit with clients transforming their pain and their grief. It continues to be sacred work, work I am honoured to be able to do. And I often encourage clients to pick up paper and pen and use writing in whatever form to process their emotions and transform their relationship to Grief.
About a year ago I started to write love notes to Grief and I realized it was something that I used to do deep in my Grief. I wasn’t sure what would become of it, but then…this was born. I write the notes to help others build a relationship to Grief as complex and messy as it may be. I write the notes to help transform our fears and apprehension about Death. I write the notes to continue to process my grief and our collective grief.
That’s my story — one of transformation, shadow work, and a deep dive into the heart of the Great Mystery.
Now, I’m here to guide you through the twists and turns of your grief journey, with a quirky smile and a heart that knows the terrain well. Whether we’re navigating the shadows or basking in the light of newfound understanding, I’m here with you every step of the way. So, shall we dance with the Great Mystery together?
